As I Promised, the list about womanhood:
1. We want WE CAN get laid anytime. Especially if you're fat, ugly or old.
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar. You still pay a price for those drinks though. You might not remember in the morning, but you do.
3. We pee sitting down so it's easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk. Yeah, that's a skill which comes in handy several times a day.
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying. You also creep everybody out by crying.
5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg. And how many showers do you have to take to wash the hoe off after that?
6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class. And still keep your record for stupid. Whoo hoo.
7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret. Men get to take Victoria's Secret lingerie off you.
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work. And men can cheat your lazy ass with a 20-something girl.
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates. Men never have to offer sex for a drink. They have real jobs to get money to buy things.
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we have to do is sleep with them. Again with the prostituting. Great.
11. Men light our cigarettes for us. Women bring guys beer because they don't want to get off the couch.
12. Men hold the door open for us. Women cook for men.
13. We pout better. (those puppy dog eyes always work!) Men just don't care .
14. We're cuter. If by cute you mean lunatic.
15. We lie better. And how is that a virtue?
16. We're better manipulators. Not by being subtle, I see.
17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves - you guys get the couch. And who gets lonely, women in the big empty bed, or men on the couch watching TV?
18. We always have food in the fridge. They invented take out in men's universe.
19. We don't worry about losing our hair. Men are not afraid of getting wrinkles.
20. We always get to choose the movie. Men get to choose the TV. And the car. And other alike.
21. We don't have to mow the lawn. You just have to clean the house.
22. We don't have to take out the garbage. Men don't have to do the dishes.
23. We don't have to paint the house or walls. Men don't either. There's professionals you can pay for that.
24. PMS - yet another excuse to bitch at men. Men don't need excuses - they can be mean anytime, anyplace, anyway.
25. Cosmopolitan. Playboy. And even more - Hustler.
26. We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole. But some of you are just that dumb.
27. Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold. Can't argue with that one.
28. PMS is a legal defense for murder. In Crazyland?!?
29. Men are like tiles, lay 'em right the first time you can walk all over em forever. Women are like socks - men can wear them once and throw them away.
30. We can masturbate more in a day than men. But you don't. So why brag?
31. 2 words - multi orgasmic! Wel... yes.
32. We don't have to constantly adjust our genitals. Just your bra.
33. Sweat is sexy on us. Let's get something straight: sweat is smelly and sticky. On both men and women. Mkay?
34. We never run out of excuses. Oh yeah? What's your excuse for getting old and wrinkly?
35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often. I say again: why brag if you don't do?
36. Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game, too. (Ok that's nasty) Yeah, great.
37. We get expensive jewelry as gifts that we NEVER have to give back. Depends whose bitch you are, you can't get jewelry from just anybody.
38. We get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time because men screw up so often. Men get to cheat and get drunk in exchange for those flowers.
39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want tocower in the corner. That rarely works, because men don't care.
40. Women are cleaner. True that.
41. Women have more than one erogenous zone. (in case you guys didn't know) What's the use if men can't find them?
42. We're better arguers. "You're wrong!!!!" - yeah, great argument .
43. We don't always have to think with our genitals. Men don't have to think with their hearts.
44. Massage!!!! How is that different for men?!
45. We're better parents. Men are better drivers.
46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night. You make me laugh.
47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing, and able men. Except if you're over 30 or overweight.
48. We're flexible. As in bendy? That's a good thing for men too.
49. When women get upset, we don't destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can. No you can't. You just think you do in Crazyland.
50. Menopause - thank heaven we're not capable of having children after we're 50. Some of you should not be capable to have kids before that either, with the gene pool being so infested.
51. Menstruation - just another excuse to use so we can say"no" to sex. Sure, PMS, back aches and everything else are worth another excuse to say no to sex.
52. Men in uniform. Women in uniform.
53. We look great in there clothes. They look crazy in ours. Would you go to work in their clothes? Then stop saying you look great in them .
54. We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy cleanup. I bet men actually envy women for that.
55. It generally takes us less to get drunk. Which means less time for men to get you in bed.
56. We have a higher tolerance to pain. Men have a higher ability to cause pain.
57. We often get to cut in line. Just you rude women.
58. Most women actually look good in short shorts - men DON'T. Most women? Really??
59. Better tips. Better paid jobs, statistically proven.
60. Women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, it's rather disgusting. Lack of personal hygiene on both parts. So no go.
61. We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarrass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public. I can't argue with that one.
62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank heaven for long pants and perfume! Why do women use perfume and make-up? Because they stink and they're ugly.
63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want. Yes, in exchange for sex.
64. We don't have excessive amounts of body hair. (Most of us) Men don't have to shave it all off though.
65. We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet. You spend twice as much in front of the mirror.
66. Men will pay us for sex. OMG, again with that??
67. Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesn't make us sterile. Who cares about whether they're sterile when they're high??
68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return. You might just be surprised though.
69. Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want. At once - really?? Ouch.
70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us. Is that all you've got??
71. Women sweat less. It's just as bad when you stink.
72. Women smell better. Men generally get to enjoy that.
73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards - a blow job and sex fixes all. Well... kinda.
74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats. What a great world to be a woman in!
75. Women don't get the humor in the three stooges. And why is that great?
76. Women have three accessible holes. Ok, first of all: that's not lady-like talk. Second of all: men fill those wholes , don't they?
77. We don't get embarrassed when buying tampons. But you get creepy looks from the salesman when you buy condoms.
78. We're better gossips. Actually, no. But that's a good thing.
79. We have better fashion sense. Were the greatest fashion designers men or women, I wonder?
80. We're better shoppers. As in... you spend more money, right?
81. We don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man. Ahmmm... yes, you generally do.
82. Our friends don't pick on us if we aren't sleeping with anyone. That's just men's way of encouraging a friend to reach his potential.
83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you) It's pretty clear what's the main topic just by reading this list.
84. We're all sitting on a gold mine - we know it and use it to our extreme advantage. WTF?? Did you already get to Crazyland??
85. We don't have to drive when on a date. It's called a taxi, babe - and men don't have to either.
86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just screwed. Ugly men can get rich. What can an old woman do?
87. Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line. Does that ever work?!
88. Women know how fake it. Men don't have to.
89. Women look better naked. Ok, that's true, generally .
90. We know that rhythm doesn't only pertain to dancing. Did you already buy a house in Crazyland?! What's that got to do with anything?
91. When women are short, we're petite. When men are short, they're just short. When men have a beer gut nobody cares, when women do, they're fat.
92. Women do less time for violent crimes. Men get to be victims of violent crimes less often.
93. Women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up. Ok, yeah, I guess.
94. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night. Ok, gross. An men don't need any props whatsoever.
95. Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep ok then bye". And their phone bills show exactly that.
96. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood. Men don't either. Point being?
97. Women never have to see combat. Men never have to give birth.
98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves. Make-up is.
99. Women are sexier. Meh...
and the 100th reason its better to be a woman - this one is definitely worthy of reiteration:
100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it! Crazyland called. They want you to be their mayor.
Mkay, kids, now let's all kiss and make up
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